Whittemore was shot through the face by a 69-caliber bullet, knocked down, and bayonetted 13 times by motherfuckers. I’d like to imagine he wounded a couple more Englishmen who slipped or choked on his blood, though history only seems to credit him with three kills on three shots fired. The Brits, convinced that this man was sufficiently beat to shit, left him for dead kept on their death march back to base, harassed the entire way by Whittemore’s fellow militiamen.

He had just shot three of them, one musket and two flintlock rifles – 3 shots, 3 kills. And went toe to toe with them with a sword while the dozen redcoats were coming at him with their rifles (or muskets or w/e). That is pretty badass. But there’s more!

Amazingly, however, Samuel Whittemore didn’t die. When his friends rushed out from their homes to check on his body, they found the half-dead, ultra-bloody octogenarian still trying to reload his weapon and seek vengeance. The dude actually survived the entire war, finally dying in 1793 at the age of 98 from extreme old age and awesomeness.

This guy was 80, yes, 80, when he pulled this stunt, after 5 decades of prior badassery serving the British crown before settling down in the colonies and deciding he liked them enough to do this. And despite being shot in the face, beaten and bayonetted in the 1700s he survived another 18 years. I’m not sure I could pull that off at age 30, let alone 50 years from now. Maybe I could survive the attack but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be trying to reload a musket and go after those motherfuckers in that state. Holy. Shit.

Tags: badassoftheweek.com, samuel whittemoore

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 22nd, 2011 at 22:50.