I wanted to write a story for Kotaku.com (this website right here) about what it was like to go visit the Dragon Quest IX-themed “Luida’s Bar” in Roppongi. I couldn’t do this, though, because, despite their having nine empty tables, my friend and I weren’t allowed in! You know why? Because we had failed to reserve our table twenty-four hours in advance. Actually, we would have needed to make reservations more than twenty-four hours in advance: We could only reserve a spot between eight or nine PM on Wednesday between twelve and four on Tuesday. Dragon-Quest-themed bars in Roppongi aren’t the only places to do this. It’s a thing insecure Tokyo business owners do when they are afraid of their place being empty at peak hours. When you think about it, it makes some kind of marketing sense. People unable to get in are then forced to think really hard about getting in next time. In Tokyo, when consumers start thinking really hard, they end up spending more money: In the case of the Dragon Quest bar, that means they would buy more drinks. Don’t ask me to prove this, because it will extend this already bloated chunk of pseudo-prose by another six thousand words.

Some American (I think?) living in Japan, working for a video game company(ies), going completely insane from having had to live there for so long. It’s long, wordy, dense, interminable and I just can’t stop reading it. It’s fascinating getting an outsider’s insider’s look at a culture.

At first, Japan’s quirkiness amused him, but the longer he’s studied it, the madder it’s driven him.

Tags: bitch bitch bitch, bitching, lesson learned, trouble in paradise

This entry was posted on Monday, March 8th, 2010 at 03:31.