I never want to hear the “but if it’s the future, where’s my jetpack” argument ever again.

I know I’m preaching to the choir here.

But.

Jetpacks have no practical application. They were only hailed as futuristic because they LOOK REALLY FUCKING COOL.

When you think about the practical applications, however, the amount of fuel it would take you to get anywhere vs. the amount of stuff you could take with you (you, the jetpack, contents of your pockets…?) vs. well, you know, the physics of strapping fucking rockets to your back. The amount of computer control needed to not make that rocket spin out of control and park your face into the nearest solid object.

So lets keep jetpacks out of our discussions on living in the future. Yes, we will eventually have them. Why? Because they look REALLY FUCKING COOL. However, they’ll be about as practical as those wingsuits some nuts enjoy skimming over mountains in, at least for a fairly long while. Who knows, we may invent an electromagnetic gravition reversal device first, which overcomes a lot of the problems associated with jets and the possibility of aiming them straight into the ground with your face being the hammer’s head in that particular physics reaction. We already have maglev trains so the possibility definitely exists, the devil is just in the details. Every day we probe further the mysteries of our universe. Science never sleeps, and the computerization of science just further repels the veil of slumber.

So fuck jets and fuck jetpacks. That’s 20th century technology. With an electromagnetic solution we wont have to worry about burning shit up so backpacks and stuff are no problem. Power is starting to go wireless, so batteries may not be much of an issue, tho at first this sorta technology would probably be limited to sporting arenas supplying a power and electromagnetic field, or special roads that have embedded grids, assuming such technology proved useful for transportation (hurray flying cars? they never said jet cars so magnetic gravity resistance counts as flying cars still, just not jetsonian free-flyers). Advances in superconducting materials and techniques will eventually make this sorta problem trivial should it prove useful to us, but you never know when a game changer is going to come along and make this sorta shit seem as useless and antiquated as the idea of a jetpack now is to some of us.

The next time the world looks mundane, think this to yourself: “My computer has billions of transistors in an area the size of my pinky nail. My phone is hundred or thousands of times faster than the moon-shot computer. People are starting to travel to space for FUN.”

Okay? So here’s your fucking jetpack sun. $86,000 out the door.