You just can’t make up stuff this good.

Soon after he left school he had a strange experience while swimming in the sea. He put his head under the water and held his breath, whereupon he felt an icy cold penetrating his rear. He ran ashore in fright and was amazed to see water pouring from his anus.

It gets better.

When he joined the army he told his fellow soldiers about his special ability, and repeated it for their amusement, sucking up water from a pan into his rectum and then projecting it through his anus up to several yards.

Johnny Depp has repeated expressed interest in portraying this gentleman on the silver screen. No man’s life should be complete without this – we should all dedicate ours to bringing this idea to fruition.

Tags: instrumental, wow, yes this is really how I amuse myself

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 30th, 2009 at 04:05.